Super Tuesday Drinking Game

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So if you’re anything like me, next Tuesday night you will be glued to your TV set watching Super Tuesday unfold on cable news, rooting for your favorite candidate. It’s going to be a loooong night so why not invite some friends over, set out some freedom fries and salsa, and make things a little interesting? It’s the way the founding fathers would of wanted us to get drunk.

2008 SUPER TUESDAY DRINKING RULES

First, everyone must choose their favorite candidate that is still in the race. Follow these rules for your candidate.

Hillary Clinton

• Take a drink if Bill is mentioned
• Take a drink if Chelsea is mentioned
• Take a drink if they mention that no delegates were awarded in Florida
• Take a drink if her “likability” is mentioned
• Take a drink if the word ‘Experience’ is mentioned referring to Clinton. Take 5 drinks if Clinton says it herself

Barack Obama

• Take a drink if Oprah is mentioned
• Take a drink if JFK is mentioned
• Take a drink if they mention that he is black
• Take a drink if the word ‘Hope’ is mentioned referring to Obama. Take 5 drinks if Obama says it himself
• Take a drink if the word ‘Change’ is mentioned referring to Obama. Take 5 drinks if Obama says it himself

Mitt Romney

• Take a drink if they mention he is Mormon
• Take a drink if anyone accuses him of flip-flopping
• Take a drink if they say Republicans trust him with the economy more than Mccain
• Take a drink if they mention how much of his own money he has spent on his campaign
• Take a drink if someone mentions his “25 years in the private sector”. Take 5 drinks if Romney says it himself
• Take 5 drinks if anyone mentions his hair

John McCain

• Take a drink if they say Republicans trust him with the War more than Romney
• Take a drink if they mention his failed immigration plan
• Take a drink if they mention the McCain-Feingold bill
• Take a drink if they mention how conservatives don’t like him
• Take a drink if someone mentions his service in the Armed Forces. Take 5 if they mention his time as a POW.
• Take 5 drinks if they call him a “Maverick”

Mike Huckabee

• Take a drink if they mention the Fair Tax
• Take a drink if someone mentions he is popular with evangelicals or social conservatives
• Take a drink if they mention how he is taking votes away from Romney. Take 5 if they use the word “Spoiler”
• Take 5 drinks whenever someone mentions Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris appears in a tape.

Ron Paul

• Take a drink if they actually mention him
• Take a drink if he is explicitly ignored (ex. “All of the republicans are pro-war” or “The results are in! McCain: 50% Romney 30% Huckabee: 15%”
• Take 5 drinks if a talking head makes fun of him

EVERYONE DRINKS IF:

• Super Tuesday is called something even more silly (ex. Super Duper Tuesday, Tsunami Tuesday, Mega Tuesday)
• The words “Iraq” or “Iran” are said
• The words “The Economy” are said
• A token black, latino, or woman talking head is asked a question about how a candidate is perceived by their respective group. 5 drinks if the talking head represents two groups (ex. A black women is asked a question about how black women are torn between Obama and Hillary)
• The media complains how the media pays more attention the horserace than policy issues.
• Any horserace lingo is used (ex. “Front Runner”, “Leading the Pack”, “Dark Horse”)

CHUG THE REST OF YOUR DRINK WHEN:

• Your candidate wins a State
• If your candidate is Huckabee, chug when he gets 2nd place too
• If your candidate is Paul, chug if he gets 3rd or better

I have tried to balance these rules so that no matter who your candidate is you will drink roughly the same amount but obviously it’s not perfect. Feel free to add your own rules and if you come up with any good ones post them in the comments and I’ll add them here.

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper.” - Benjamin Franklin